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Lieke-plaza Humorblog

Lieke-plaza Humorblog
akke.beakke.be
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Dinsdag 3 mei 2011



Komt een vrouw bij de dokter:"'Dokter ik heb zo'n last hier van onderen"' '"Kleedt u zich maar uit dan zal ik even kijken"'zegt de dokter. Dus die vrouw kleedt zich uit en de dokter kijkt een paar minuten naar binnen en zegt kleedt u zich maar weer aan,ik heb het al gezien. De vrouw kleedt zich weer aan en zegt tegen de dokter, En?Wat heb ik?.Is het ernstig? Nou zegt de dokter, U heeft last van witte vloed,het is chronisch en ik moet het opereren. De vrouw gaat naar huis en daar aangekomen vraagt haar man.. en wat zei de dokter? Nou zegt de vrouw, Ik begin een beetje doof te worden en kon hetmoeilijk verstaan, maar volgens mij zei hij U heeft een witte poes, dat is komisch en dat wil ik fotograferen.




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Een jongen en een meisje van het platteland liggen naast elkaar langs de dijk. Klimt er opeens een stier bovenop een koe. Zegt die jongen tegen dat meisje: 'Zal ik dat ook eens doen?' Zegt het meisje: 'Wat kan mij het schelen? Het zijn mijn koeien niet.





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knuffffffffffffff van Lieke
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Vcjkdu2S0Xq14 mei 2016 om 09:08

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4kv60A44kb4W5 mei 2016 om 08:38

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PD3rxNv4ik4 mei 2016 om 15:57

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O9C4Rp2Pd3 mei 2016 om 18:45

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Finkelstein = brave man led by his conscience and integrity. We need a hundred thousand Finlnksteies speaking at universities all over the U.S. and Canada and the EU to cure Israel of this sickness called Zionism.
tvqWydzZ5oJ3 mei 2016 om 18:44

tfgkIUIXvUbg

Mais, sans un livre, elle tient combien de temps? Elle me donne envie de retravailler l'o-greidaux, ta recette, et puis de déguster un ti'punch au coucher du soleil, sur un arbre, en robe légère.
b1e8EfRp2 mei 2016 om 15:37

hWPh9vyod

You co'nldut pay me to ignore these posts!
S4pbhwBaYR2 mei 2016 om 14:09

qkZnVlPZm

Wonderful story, reckoned we could combine a number of unrelated data, neevsthelers actually really worth taking a look, whoa did 1 discover about Mid East has got extra problerms too
OxmyxEAAFFRuTLZBu29 maart 2013 om 11:36

MRmEanRpaaUMFDeD

That isinght's just what I've been looking for. Thanks!
pLgxRzlrKiWAfnjPuIG29 maart 2013 om 10:49

PYqYPeia

A pleasingly rational aneswr. Good to hear from you.
Reageer op dit bericht

Reageer op dit bericht

Een titel of je eigen website toevoegen

50 dingen die je niet moet zeggen tijdens het vrijen.


1. Zit-ie er al in?
2. Is dat alles?
3. Je neemt me in de maling
4. (telefoon gaat) Hallo? Oh, niks bijzonders. En jij?
5. Moet ik hiervoor nog betalen?
6. Moet ik je morgen nog bellen?
7. Ohhh, mammie, mammie!
8. Ohhh, pappie, pappie
9. In het donker zie je er beter uit.
10. Oh, dit is veel beter dan met m'n vorige partner
11. Ik dacht dat dit in het andere gat moest....
12. Vertel je niets tegen wederhelft
13. Je hebt dezelfde beha als m'n moeder.. (helemaal erg als het meisje het zegt)
14. Dit is klote.
15. Kun je een beetje opschieten? Ik moet naar een vergadering.
16. Ik hoop niet dat je nu een salarisverhoging verwacht...
17. Ik denk dat je hierdoor het baantje wel kan krijgen.
18. Kolerig, is dat alles wat je weet om te doen.
19. Had ik al verteld dat ik herpes heb?
20. Nu moeten we gaan trouwen.
21. Schiet een beetje op, de wedstrijd begint zo.
22. Ik heb honger.
23. Ik heb dorst.
24. zzzzzzzzzzzz.
25. Probeer je leuk te doen?
26. Kun je me hierna even thuisbrengen?
27. Zijn die wel echt?
28. Oh ja, voor ik het vergeet, het is uit.
29. Wat ruik ik toch? Ben jij dat?
30. Heb je dit nog nooit eerder gedaan?
31. Wow, zulke heb ik nog niet eerder gezien (en dan beginnen te graaien)
32. Weet je wat sommige vrouwtjes-spinnen doen na de paring?
33. Wat lijk jij op je zus, zeg.
34. Je moeder is best aardig.
35. Wat was j enaam ook alweer?
36. Moet ik hier morgenochtend echt nog zijn?
37. Nog een keer? Ik kon de eerste keer al nauwelijks wakker blijven!
38. Achhhh, en je was nog maar net begonnen....
39. Je bent bijna net zo goed als een kind van 9 - en ik kan het weten.
40. Blijf daar vanaf!
41. Zullen we een pizza bestellen?
42. Ik denk dat m'n pa aan de deur staat te luisteren.
43. Lach even naar de camera, liefje.
44. Is er nog wat leuks op de tv?
45. Haal je hand daar weg!!
46. Ik denk dat het condoom 10 minuten geleden gescheurd is.
47. Ik wist wel dat je een opgevulde beha had
48. Dek me jongens, ik ga er in!!
49. VAN ONDEREN!!
50. Het plafond moet gewit worden


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3 reacties Reageer op dit bericht

Aangenaam winkelen

Je kent het wel, het is prachtig weer buiten,
je wil er een dagje lekker niks doen.
Ennnn ja hoor.. daar is moeder de vrouw "SCHATTTT..zullen we gaan winkelen?"
Hier volgen 10 tips om jezelf aangenaam bezig te houden,

1) Graai in de doos met condooms en ga ze vervolgens deponeren in de karretjes van argeloze winkelklanten als ze even niet kijken. Om het nog spannender te maken gooi je van die extra sterke anale condooms bij de mannen en smaakcondooms bij de vrouwen. Ga genietend bij de kassa kijken hoe dat afloopt.

2) Programmeer de wekkers in de klokkenafdeling zo dat ze met intervallen van 5-10 minuten aflopen.

3) Creëer een spoor van appelsap naar de WC's

4) Als iemand je vraagt of hij je kan helpen, begin dan onbedaarlijk te huilen en roep: " Waarom laten jullie me allemaal niet met rust ??!!"

5) Ga naar de messenafdeling neem het grootste mes en vraag aan een voorbijganger of hij/zij weet waar de antidepressiva liggen.

6) Gebruik de reflecterende lens van de veiligheidscamera als spiegel om uitgebreid in je neus te gaan peuteren.

7) Verberg je tussen de kledingrekken. Wanneer er iemand tussen de kleren komt snuffelen roep je met en schril stemmetje: "Neem mij! Neem mij!"

8) Sluip op een verdachte manier tussen de rekken terwijl je het thema van "Mission impossible" neuriet, ga naar de afdelingsverantwoordelijke en zeg hem op plechtige toon: " We hebben een code 3 op de zuivelafdeling " Kijk wat er gebeurt.

9) Wanneer er wat omgeroepen wordt via de intercom, ga dan meteen in foetushouding op de grond liggen en krijs: "Daar zijn de stemmen weer! Daar zijn de stemmen weer !!"

10) Ga in een pashokje zitten en roep dan dat het wc-papier op¦

Veel plezier met het winkelen


Groetjes Lieke
2 reacties Reageer op dit bericht

Hallo allemaal...Welkom op mijn Humorblog

Welkom bij mijn blog.

Ik ben nog aan het snuffelen hoe en wat ik allemaal kan/moet doen, maar dat gaat vast goed komen..
De bedoeling is dat ik hier gewoon lekkere humor op ga plaatsen..

Humor die ik op internet tegen kom, of humor die ik stomtoevallig zelf maak
Het kan zelfs zo zijn dat ikzelf humoristische dingen meemaak..

En ook die komen dan hier op te staan..

Hoe dan ook, kom elke dag even kijken.
Geef je commentaar op de humor die ik toevoeg.
Wie weet kan het nog leuk worden ook..


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128 reacties Reageer op dit bericht

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